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The dancer Age: Turning 21 Birthday: 9th Dec About you: Loves God, family n frens. sweet tooth. cant resist anything with Green tea or Red bean =) Hate studying, Loneliness n rainy days. Lack of independency previous dances 黑白配 Happy Birthday ah Lam! Say Emptiness 2am:DesserBar Lost 2303 It's a wonderful world? Wisdom tooth past July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 links |
Monday, June 30, 2008 ( Happy Birthday @ 11:53 PM ) Hoping to say that to u now but i'm choked. barely utter any words. But u're dearly missed bro. How i wish i could tell you about my stuffs n all, but i doubt u've cared. 18 years of knowing you was bitter sweet. u're just too like me, stubborn. I know ku ma purposely tell me about the sermon she heard on forgiveness. Have i not forgive you? teared in my heart that i was mistaken by the elders. Have i not make the first move? Have i not try to strike conversation? It's not fair that i'm being blamed but i din rebuke at all, not once i did. it's always you that i will think of if i'm passing by eateries, but you wont appreciate. How i wish i could just pop by ur room and see what your doin, but you wont wan me to disturb. Being down and not lettin you guys know it's tearing me apart, it's terrible and i try not to affect my emotions while with you, but i cant. Phoned with aaron and he made me realised something, i chose to shut the doors. tellin as many as ppl i can about my feelings seems not working for me anymore. afterall, i'm the one tt is facing it. My family is the physical pillar that i've always, always rely on. But now its torn, what should i do? what can i do? it really borders me. Wei, I want to be as chirpy as i was, i'm tryin. But, Thanks for the msg of assurance that i'm not left behind. It really comforted me alot. Rou, i know u'll be there for me, always been n never fail. Somehow, I have to face the music.myself. usually confide my problems with my sisters but somehow we're drifted. Wont want to border them as well as they're busy with their work and relationship. What should i do next, bro? Nonetheless i am thankful to Him, I'm always always blessed to have people comforting me. I'm thankful for His patience as well.. 0 comments Saturday, June 28, 2008 ( Felt Peace? @ 10:43 PM ) It's a relief for me, though just for that 2 hours, i'm content. Went for the altar call. I was released for that moment as i was filled with His presence. but... it's always easy to say "pray and leave everything to Him." It's otherwise. Met up with Siwei for lunch after so many months, Still the old maris. Wonkas, SiWei, Alvin and ButterFac, miss it. miss all the fun that we had. Argh, seriously i dunno why i'm feelin nostalgic. Had problems with my close fren. I'm really sorry for being blunt and not considering your feelings. I really cant take the bottle-up feelings, jus too much for me to take. i meant well, i really hope you can express it out to us and we're here to shoulder some off. Let's put off the mask and smile! side track, i really wan to put mre stuff in this blog but i'm just too stupid to handle all the IT stuff i've to go thru! pardon me but one day i'm sure i'll be satisfied with my 'creation'. haha. there's too manny thought for me to pen down, just too many. this vacation is my first time taking up a full time job for 2 mths. happy and sad. i'm so grateful and thankful to work in that department. the people, and the atmostphere is so nice to be in for 5 working days. though it's a workin place where many politics invlove, it's rather a peaceful place to be in. All in all, i'm still not ready to be who i am. will i get back to who i was or this is me? we'll figure out. 0 comments Sunday, June 22, 2008 ( Come back down @ 4:06 PM ) http://youtube.com/watch?v=BOGvUsevQZA Staring right back in the face A memory can’t be erased I know, because I tried Start to feel the emptiness and everything I’m gonna miss I know, that I can’t hide All this time is passing by I think it’s time to just move on When you come back down If you land on your feet I hope you find a way to make it back to me When you come around I’ll be there for you Don’t have to be alone with what you’re going through Start to breathe and fake a smile It’s all the same after a while I know, that you are tired Carrying the ones you lost A picture frame with all the thoughts I know, you hold inside I hope that you can find your way back To the place where you belong When you come back down If you land on your feet I hope you find a way to make it back to me When you come around I’ll be there for you Don’t have to be alone with what you’re going through You’re coming back down You say you feel lost can I help you find it When you come around From time to time we all are blinded You’re coming back down You don’t have to tell me what you’re feeling I know what you’re going through I won’t be the one that lets go of you I think it’s time to just move on When you come back down If you land on your feet I hope you find a way to make it back to me When you come around I’ll be there for you Don’t have to be alone with what you’re going through When you come back down If you land on your feet I hope you find a way to make it back to me When you come around I’ll be there for you Don’t have to be alone with what you’re going through 1 comments Friday, June 20, 2008 ( I wonder... @ 1:11 AM ) Was glad that my dearest cousin send me a mail to comfort me, in His way.. Thank you. Am i self empathized? Or just need more time to get back on my feet? I'm afraid it wont be that soon. Ah lam, what would u say to yilin if she dreamt of u? she asked me, and i replied her swiftly. "Happy, of cos." Am i right? Just so many memories we had.. i wont forget. Just so vivid that was yesterday. Just so carefree that we missed. Just so happy that we cried. Just so many I have to say. Just so you would know. My parents were quite understanding and concerned. They didnt ask much and i'm thankful, but least they know, i missed them all. so much i wanted to say but words dont flow. When could I be as blunt as before? I love my family and yet I seemed so nonchalant. I soaked myself with tears and yet they didnt know. I dont want to.. i really dont. I need my second sis and yet she's away. I hope she's having fun, really, she deserve a break. Thank you for listening and i know i'll be strong. Cause no matter what, i'm not alone. Thank you for His Grace, His everlasting love. 0 comments Wednesday, June 18, 2008 ( From the inside out @ 9:37 AM ) I know, I know, I cant run away from all these forever. But leave me, will you? Just awhile, be stagnant, be nonchalant. Everything to me now seems superficial, i dont know why. Just tried, drained. Just to sidetrack, yesterday met up with one of my close girl friend for a talk which i felt comforting. It's been a while since she side down with us and talk. really relieved. She's always there for me when i'm in need, always willing to listen to my problems. I want to be there for her too. I know i'm not the best person to seek, but i'll be there. alrite? 'Let bygones be bygones', a classic pharse that many used to comfort. Possible? Throughout all these, He's always there, beside me or even carrying me when i'm weak. He is my pillar and only strength. Talking to Him everynight is the only time being true to myself... 0 comments |